Friday, January 18, 2008
I hate myself for not protecting you from leaving me. I hate myself for not keeping you by my side. I hate myself for keep thinking of you. I hate myself for giving you up.
Sometimes, I will ask myself whether did I do wrong or not. But eventually, I will never get the answer. I really want to know the answer. I have kept trying not to think of you, but you will just appear in my mind when I'm free or paused to think of other things. Is it that I can't let my mind to rest in order not to think of you? I felt so hurt. If I have another chance, will I walk the same path as today again? I do not know. Will you blame me?
It had been months since I have separated with you. But really, I still think of you. If I have another chance, I will tell you I love You. I can only tell myself maybe fate brought us together but never wanted us to live together for life. I really wish that you can have a better life. Maybe you will lead a better with other then with me. Everything is written black and white in the heaven book, that you are not meant for me. So, I will not force myself or anyone. All I can is to blame myself.
Thanks for the feelings you have given me for the past months. I will treasure and remember it always. I know I will not forget you, you will always be in my heart. I will try not to think of you to make my life simple, but I will keep you deep in heart always. There will be no one to replace your place, I promise.
Lastly, in here, I really want to tell you I LOVE YOU always, my lovely dearest. I know you wouldn't see it, but I still wanted to tell you.
Typing word by word, tears flow down my cheeks and blood flowing out my heart. It was too painful already.
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Baby Master
Cindy
Wife of Andy
Proud mother of Angus & Chevelle
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Her Precious
Angus
DOB: 12th January 2010
Place of Birth: Mount Alvernia Hospital
Delivered By: Dr Wong MT
my Birth Story
Chevelle
DOB: 1st Novemeber 2011
Place of Birth: Thomson Medical Centre
Delivered By: Dr Wong MT
my Birth Story
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Her Love
Andy
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Wishy Lists
- Hope that everything will goes well for me and zhu bao bao
- Going to Sentosa
- Going to Puala Ubin
- Have an holiday trip with family
- Hope that Chevelle, Angus, zhu bao bao, family and me will be healthy
always
- Hope that I will pass my probation and get confirm on the first week of March 2014
- Hope that zhu bao bao can success in his trading
- Hope to get big and full bonus in 2014
- Hope that new job and workplace will be smooth and friendly
Hope that adjustment will be more more more after phobation
- Hope that zhu bao bao, family, Angus, Chevelle and me will had a smooth
2013
- Hope 2014 is a smooth, happy, successful and money-full year
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